


Princesses Love Pans

by MizuLeKitten



Series: Princesses Love... [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, Dungeons and Dragons, Gen, Humor, It's set in some parallel season 6 probably, Keith Takes Destiny Into His Own Hands, Princess Keith, Team Bonding, Team as Family, or at least my type of humor, sorta?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-23 22:43:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14942759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizuLeKitten/pseuds/MizuLeKitten
Summary: Keith gets tired of waiting for his friends to save him in a casual game of Monsters and Mana, and decides to take matters into his own hands.





	Princesses Love Pans

Keith watched the scene before him unfold into chaos pretty much as soon as it started. The team had entered the abandoned castle not even a few moments prior, defeating the undead guards outside. Hunk had used up quite a bit of mana and Allura had half as many arrows as when she started. Shiro and Pidge had nearly died, and Lance's love of gold had been what started the whole engagement off badly. They had made it, barely.

And Keith? He had walked in halfway through the campaign, having spent his time before training. He hadn't known what to make of the holographic board and characters, nor everyone's intense reactions to whatever Coran was saying. When the others offered him to join, he had easily agreed. He liked spending time with them, even though he didn't know how to a lot of the time, and to have _them_ invite him in was nice after being gone so long.

Coran had offered him a "Special Job." Since the game was so far underway it would've been awkward to introduce a new character (something they would save for next time, they had assured) so instead Keith was going to play the captured Princess, waiting high above in the crumbling tower for the battle worn heros to come to his rescue and free him in exchange for... something. He wasn't sure what, hadn't been there for that part of the story telling.

At this rate, though, the team wouldn't be getting anything from him, let alone seeing him in the game. They were barely into the front garden of the castle, full of wilting plants and a destroyed fountain at the center, when Hunk and Shiro had failed stealth rolls and been spotted by a sentry team. Undead had been upon them in an instant.

He could apparently see all of this from his tower, which was annoying enough in itself. If he could see all of this happening, why couldn’t he do anything to help? Knowing that someone else was there should’ve been ample motivation to get out of the castle and join them, but instead all he could do was sit here and wait.

An idea struck him: Coran never said he _had_ to wait.

Keith picked up his tablet from where he had placed it on the couch. He typed away at the alien script, not wanting to interrupt the others' fun, but desperate to do something to help.

/What's the guard detail outside my room look like?/ He hit send and waited for Coran to respond.

Coran glanced up at him as the others discussed how to handle the situation before them - the perfect timing for Coran to respond to him.

/There are two guards, one is asleep and the other is staring off into space./

Keith stared at the screen for several moments, pondering what he could do next. /What do I have in my room?/

/It's a lavish bedroom considering the state of the castle. A four post bed is in the center of the room with silken sheets and several pillows. On the wall is a picture frame of the necromancer who has kidnapped you. There is a desk with papers and writing utensils on it that he has graciously allowed you to have, as well as a pan with dining utensils on it from your latest meal./ Coran turned back to the others, rolling out his next attack on them.

Keith cringed as an undead got a dirty hit in on Lance, who had been trying to get Pidge out of the way from another attack. They really weren't going to make it to the necromancer, and thus him, if they kept up at this rate.

/I grab the pan and then call out to the guards for help./

Coran glanced down at the tablet, reading it over and going back to the scene with the others before his eyes went wide and found their way to Keith. He hadn't expected this, apparently, and if he didn't want Keith to do this, he'd back off. He simply didn’t like watching his friends get hurt, not when they could use his help.

/Roll a d20 and add your charisma bonus./

Keith took the die next to him and rolled. /16/

"Hey, why's Keith rolling?" Lance demanded from where he sat next to Allura.

"I'm-"

"Don't worry about that!" Coran cut in, sending a wink Keith's way, "another group of sentries is due to come this way any minute with all the noise you were making! Better prepare for that then worry about ol' Keith."

That seemed to garner everyone's immediate attention, and Keith sent off his roll plus his bonus to Coran.

/The guards rush into your room to aid you, one is still half asleep and the other is clearly jumpy and easily startled./

/I hit the jumpy one over the head with the pan./

/You get advantage due to surprise, roll a d20/

/19/

Coran shot him a surprised look before nodding. The others had "accidentallyed" themselves into another combat situation, and were preoccupied there.

/You knock him out, the sleepy one looks confused and slow to process, you can attack again./

/14+3/

/What's the plus 3 from?/

/I'm proficient with pans./

Coran's brows furrowed. /That's not what that proficiency meant, but so be it. You easily take out the other guard. They are both unconscious and the door to your room is left ajar. What do you do?/

Keith selected the knocked out guards bodies, checking over their inventory. They each had a sword and shield, although he wasn't proficient with either. Stupid if you asked him. What royalty wouldn't know how to defend themselves? They're leaving themselves vulnerable otherwise.

/I take the keys, as well as a sword and shield. I put on one of the belts and attach my pan to it before leaving. I lock the door behind me./

~*~

"You've made your way through the castle, and have finally arrived at the doors leading to the necromancers chamber!" Coran says with a grin. The others are all bent over in various stages of exhaustion, but he’s still as ready to go as ever, "The door is an ornate-"

"We open the door, Coran," Pidge said, too tired to care about potential traps.

Coran pouted at the interruption, but quickly recovered, "bones line the walls, and a worn red carpet goes up the center of the room leading to a large throne which the necromancer sits upon! He laughs at your entrance: 'Foolish heros! You dare attack my castle! Mwahaha! You cannot stop me! By the end of the night I shall be wed to the Princess, and your corpses will join my army!'"

"We'll stop you _and_ save the Princess!" Pike, Lance, countered.

Everyone shouted in agreement.

" 'So be it!' and roll for initiation."

Keith's tablet buzzed, /You too, Keith./

Keith grinned as he rolled. Not a bad roll, but it was only initiation. It put him about halfway through the order. He wasn't in the room yet, down the hall actually, but he could see the fight from where he was. He could finally help them.

By the time his turn got around, Shiro had already taken a bad hit, and the Necromancer had summoned a number of skeletons from the bones lining the walls. Allura and Pidge were backed up because of that, and Lance was trying to cover Shiro to no avail. Hunk was attempting to heal everyone, but his mana was practically out.

Keith typed into his pad leading up to his turn, ready to hit send as soon as Coran gave him the okay.

Coran's tablet buzzed and his eyes scanned over the message. He laughed loudly before nodding towards Keith much to the obvious confuse of the others. "As the battle wears on you hear running footsteps from down the hall. You all turn to the doors, as do the skeletons and the Necromancer. Bursting through the entrance comes the Princess. Her ornate dress is ripped in places along the bottom, allowing for freer movement, and there is a large slit up the side. In her hands is a purple sword and a glowing blue shield. Despite the rugged appearance of her clothing, her hair is tied into an elegant braid with a magenta ribbon through it. Her tiara rests on her head, sparkling. Keith, what do you do?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a tic!" Lance shouted, "What the cheese? Keith, god dang it! You're a _helpless_ princess! We're supposed to be saving _you_!"

Keith shrugged, "you looked like you needed help."

"I- What! I'm doing perfectly _fine_ thank you very much! Now go back to your tower and let us save you!"

"Lance, it's Keith's turn," Allura placed a hand on Lance's knee to get his attention, "I admit this is an... odd turn of events, but what he does next is up to him."

Lance sat back with a huff, grumbling something under his breath.

"Keith?" Coran prompted.

If there was one thing Keith knew by now, it was that the necromancer apparently loved the Princess a _lot_. He had spared no expense for her comfort, so there was only one thing he could do. Use that to his advantage.

"I drop my sword and shield and walk up to the necromancer."

Shiro gave him a curious look - dropping his weapons was very unlike him, he knew, but he had a plan (sort of). "None of the skeletons attack you as you make your way to the throne. The Necromancer looks confused at your presence but still manages a smile, 'Darling! What are you doing out of your room? If it was the noise, I promise that these intruders are going to be disposed of shortly.' You have made it up to him - what do you do?"

Keith grinned, "I smile at him. Then I take the pan out of my belt and hit him upside the head with it."

He rolled the dice; natural 20.

Pidge stood up on her cushion, cheering loudly, as Hunk leaned over the table to stare at the die in disbelief. Lance threw his hands up in exasperation. Allura was holding back laughter behind her hand and Shiro was grinning.

"The Necro- The Necromancer-" Coran frowned as his words were lost in the uproar, " _The Necromancer_ \- thank you - does not expect this, and goes down without resistance. Several of his teeth go flying and a massive bruise is well on its way to forming on the side of his head."

The table goes up into hysterics again, everyone talking over each other.

"Aw, come on, all he did was knock out the Necromancer! We could've handled it," Lance grumbled.

"Hunk was out of mana; Allura, out of arrows; Shiro nearly died /again/; and you and me were getting low as well," Pidge stated, "Plus, bosses always have a final form, and we hadn't even touched the actual Necromancer yet."

"Touche..."

"Well, what next? We saved-" Pidge paused, "- _Keith_ saved himself. Do you want to roll up a new character?"

Keith thought for a moment and shook his head, "Nah, I kinda like my pan."

**Author's Note:**

> I have zero regrets
> 
> Also the pan proficiency was supposed to be for cooking, but Coran was willing to give it to him because Keith didn't have much else as of yet xD


End file.
